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While the need for connection and belonging is universal, avoidant individuals suppress their need for intimate attachment.This does not mean that their heart is made of steel, in fact they are just as vulnerable to the threat of separation as the rest of us.Do you ever wonder how you can go from a completely sane and confident person, to a clinging or withdrawing relationshipzilla in about 60 seconds flat?Welcome to the world of attachment systems and romantic attachment styles. It is a mechanism in our brain that is responsible for monitoring and tracking the availability of our partners in our relationships.However, they have learned to adopt a defensive stance and therefore don’t seem very vulnerable at all. To have a shield with which their heart remains impenetrable– but as always there is a flipside.These individuals tend to repress rather than express their emotions, and are quick to think negatively about their partner’s needs in the relationship.Last week, we covered the attachment system and needs of the anxious preoccupied attachment style.This week we are focusing on understanding the needs of the avoidant/dismissive attachment style. Understanding your attachment style is the first step.
This can have a negative impact on intimacy and the over all relationship if the person is not aware of their need for independence.
Wishing you love and connection, References Levine, A.
The cinema of that region currently known as “the former Yugoslavia” and, less helpfully, “the Balkans” (since that term technically encompasses a fair bit more of south-east Europe) isn’t anything like as accessible here as that created by Czechs, Hungarians and Poles, although this is (as ever) more to do with the vagaries of international distribution than any creative failings on the part of the filmmakers.
A deactivating strategy is a way to shut down, disable, and avoid having to experience such feelings.
Essentially, these strategies are any behaviours or thoughts used to suffocate intimacy.This may partly be a by-product of the tastes of international festivals, distributors and critics, but it’s worth noting that many of these films were big domestic hits as well.