Rules for dating older men
But that sort of thinking might cause you to overlook the quiet-but-intriguing guy whose company you enjoy even though you don't feel a spark just yet.
A better rule: "Sexual chemistry is important, but you may not feel it initially," says Dr. "It can develop after you've known someone for a while." That said, adds Dr. " If you're truly not feeling it, it's better to let things go gently now rather than hang around waiting and hoping for a match to flare. Don't reveal your desire for children, a new career or any other life goal.
There's a hilarious scene in the movie Sleepless in Seattle when Tom Hanks's character contemplates getting back into the dating game and wonders if the rules have changed.
If that describes you, back in the saddle again after a hiatus, divorce or widowhood, know that yes, the rules have changed—and for the better.
It's mighty old-fashioned to be so demure with a new guy that you don't reveal your true wishes for what you want out of life.
In the past, you may have been told to keep your desire to have children, for example, under wraps out of fear that you might scare away a guy who isn't quite ready to settle down yet.
A better rule: Sure, early on you don't want to blurt out, "If you don't want kids, tell me now." But at the same time, you shouldn't deny your own basic needs, wants or ambitions, says Dr. Don't be afraid of revealing that you're in the market for a long-term serious relationship and potential father for your children, or that you plan to go back to law school or move to Africa.A better rule: Forget the "always" or "never" rules about paying, says Dr. "Who pays will depend on your generation or who did the asking out," or just your impulse at the time the check comes. Better yet, be upfront when you go out: "This one's on me" always sounds good.