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I haven't spoken to him about any of this because I think it would break his heart, and I don't want to do so unnecessarily, but if after our holiday things are no better for me, I just don't know how to deal with it. It'll be more devastating if you break up with him with no warning. You put it best: This other man is "not the cause of the downfall." I can't tell you what will happen after you talk – what the two of you will decide, and whether there's any way to save this relationship.
Yes, these are often the option you are left when you don't know where to look.Even worse: I have developed a crush on this guy at work.