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"If you grow up learning that sex is adversarial — he chases, she is pursued; he gets, she gives — then how do you deal with what amounts to relegation to the losers' bracket?" he told In reality, the friend zone devalues the very thing it references: friendship."The second I made my strictly platonic interests clear, I was told by my female friends that it was unfair of me to place these men in the 'friend zone.' I don't take these comments seriously as I know my feelings are what matter in these situations, but it's still rather irritating to be judged by your peers who feel you owe somebody your time simply because they are 'nice guys.'"Ben Dreyfuss, an editor in New York City, thinks men who say they're in the friend zone just don't know how to deal with rejection and project the responsibility onto women."The friend zone is an excuse for men to feel wronged because they've been rejected romantically," he told without getting laid in return, that's their fault for misreading the situation, not the woman's fault for being sexually stingy.There's an old that goes, "What's the difference between a slut and a bitch?A slut sleeps with everyone, and a bitch sleeps with everyone but you." While clearly offensive, the joke captures the way the friend zone perpetuates damaging stereotypes about women.A man's expectation that his platonic friendship is actually a temporary stop on the way to sex puts the onus on women to reciprocate or say no — and face the common responses that accompany women when they do so: They're that after politely declining the coworker's request to go on a date, he smirked and said, "I already decided, this year I'm getting out of the friend zone." She was flabbergasted.
"I felt like my choice wasn't being respected."Respecting that choice is crucial, because the notion of the friend zone isn't limited to awkward conversations and encounters.
Its view of sex suggests that platonic friendship is some sort of penalty box, rather than a relationship one should feel thankful and excited for.