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Helen Fisher, Ph D, a cultural anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of a new book called Why Him, Why Her, says men don’t notice half the things women obsess about anyway.“It’s amazing what men don’t notice if you’re enthusiastic, energetic, interested in them, and flexible minded.” According to Fisher, there is an evolutionary explanation for the selective blindness men show to our physical flaws.Thinking about how you look during sex stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm.“Don’t think about the fat on your belly or the makeup on your face,” advises Westheimer. You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm.” “Men want their wives to abandon themselves in sex play, and that’s not likely if she is anxious about her physical concerns,” Parrott says.

The pressures of everyday life -- family, work, bills -- can zap a man’s libido.Westheimer believes we should all let go of old-fashioned notions, such as women are not sexual or that sex is just sex to men. Don’t minimize it.” The research, says Parrott, supports the idea that both men and women find sexual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship to be more satisfying.



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