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Inject your own thoughts, "Well, if I were Winnie the Pooh, I would be sad that Tigger didn't invite me to his birthday party." Then talk about the choices available to Winnie the Pooh. Set short term, medium and long term goals for your yourself and for your family. By dealing with your difficult feelings and getting through them you can become a bigger person from the experience.
Divorce creates the possibility for a new beginning. Being a bigger person means letting go of competition. What will be etched in your children's memory for life is not who bought them the most toys, but who had values that they could respect.
Some children will disconnect emotionally from both parents as a way of coping with having to make a decision. There is another selfish reason to not speak poorly of your former spouse.
Ask your child if he or she would prefer to talk about those difficulties with an impartial adult, such as a therapist or an adult family friend.Children have a hard time separating the words and facial expressions that are spoken to them, and the fact that they were not meant for them, especially if they were meant for someone else who that they love. Rather than interrogating your children about what your ex is up to, focus on what is going on in your house. If you are not sure what they should be under your particular circumstances, seek guidance from a someone who is a competent authority on child-rearing.